If you are about to divorce then it’s likely you and your spouse have had some difficult conversations lately. What’s more, there is also a good chance you realize you should have had many more difficult conversations earlier. Being able to express how you are feeling to someone helps keep the relationship strong.
So many adults struggle with this – many might have avoided divorce if they were better equipped emotionally to express their feelings in an appropriate way. Hence, it is unrealistic to expect your kids to be able to clearly express how they are feeling about things when you divorce. Instead, they may express their feelings through their behavior.
Changes in behavior can act as a warning sign
Feeling frustrated – hit a wall or start a fight. Feeling unstable because their family is breaking up – try and cement their place in a group at school by sucking up to the leader or turning the group against another member. Feeling annoyed at you – pick an inappropriate boyfriend or girlfriend they know you will disapprove of. Feeling despair – zone out in class, stop doing homework and do no revision for the test.
Many of these behaviors may play out at school, rather than at home. That’s why informing your child’s teacher is wise when divorcing so that they can inform you of any worrying behaviors they notice that could signify your child is struggling with your divorce.
You can’t expect to solve issues that arise straight away, but by co-operating as co-parents in the divorce process, rather than fighting with each other you increase the chances your child gets through this as smoothly as possible.